November 2011 Police Blotters

There was a healthy dose of insanity, often drug or alcohol related, in last month’s calls to the police. My favorite was the drunkard who ‘misdialed’ and tried to blame it on an imaginary daughter.

Fighting was also a theme for the month with food fights (spaghetti), name calling (“hillbilly whore”) and the usual neighborly threats (with baseball bats).

  • 3:39 p.m. — A caller reported a man screaming and fighting with a chainlink fence.
  • 9:28 a.m. — A woman reported someone had written “hillbilly whore” on her gate in green chalk. She gave the name of a suspect, against whom she has a restraining order.
  • 8:16 p.m. — A caller reported receiving a phone call from a woman who spoke in a “sexual” tone and asked to speak to the youngest male in the residence.
  • 12:30 p.m. — A boy reported being underage and drinking, and said he wanted to go to jail because he heard it was cool. He could not be located.
  • 12:53 p.m. — A woman reported her crawlspace door had been tampered with and her neighbor makes “hoo-dau” sounds when she is outside. She also reported the hospital claims she called them 22 times regarding what kind of meds her housemaid was on.
  • 9:32 p.m. — A caller reported a man was “raging” on meth. He was arrested on suspicion of battery, damaging a phone line and possessing a controlled substance.
  • 5 p.m. — A caller reported a domestic dispute; both parties had spaghetti all over them.
  • 8:22 a.m. — A caller reported someone wrote “rackball” on a vehicle and on a retaining wall.
  • 6:07 p.m. — A caller reported possible drug activity. The people were doing their laundry.
  • 9:11 p.m. — A man reported his daughter misdialed the phone, then admitted he didn’t have a daughter and was drunk.
  • 7:08 p.m. — A caller reported an extremely drunken woman in a wheelchair was too impaired to care for a child, who was released to the care of a relative.
  • 12:22 p.m. — A caller from reported a bloated stomach.
  • 12:04 a.m. — A caller reported a group of drunken men came to his son’s window and asked if he wanted to buy some marijuana.
  • 12:46 p.m. – A caller reported a small missile in front of her house, with a red stick coming out the top of it. The caller said the missile was on her door step and she didn’t want to touch it. An officer responded and determined the missile was a Nerf children’s toy projectile.
  • 1:58 p.m. – A caller at a local park reported the “definitive smell of marijuana” at the skate park and requested an officer drive through the area to look for anything suspicious.
  • 2:02 p.m. — A woman reported her neighbor was banging on her door. At 6:43 p.m., the other woman reported she tried to apologize and the first woman wielded a baseball bat at her.
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