August 2011 Police Blotters

People in this small town appeared to have truly lost it this month. They used stores as their babysitters, dumped a “bucket of oysters,” threw their spouse’s vitamins or “a 32-ounce Arizona iced tea”, and sang in a dumpster.

(I read the police blotter for entertainment value but I have to say it can also be very sobering. There are often reports of domestic violence and elder abuse and this month I saw calls about a man and child living in a storage unit. There were also many calls about stolen copper tubing this month, making this small town seem like it was the setting of ‘The Wire’).

  • 11:11 p.m. — A caller reported a drunken man had broken through the ambulance doors and was running through the parking lot with an IV in his arm. He was arrested on suspicion of being drunk in public.
  • 7:45 p.m. — A man reported a man ran over to his car and threw a 32-ounce Arizona iced tea at his face, causing a small cut and swelling to his face. He said the man then wanted him to come to a house where others were waiting to beat him up.
  • 7:12 p.m. — A caller reported a woman screaming at someone to wake up, over and over. The woman was found to have been upset because of a dying goat and was trying to wake up her husband.
  • 8:19 a.m. — A caller reported a man screaming at no one. At 3:37 p.m., the same man was reported to be screaming at people. At 3:49 p.m., a woman reported the man said he would kill her like a bug. He was arrested on suspicion of violating probation.
  • 2:45 p.m. – Police admonished two men sitting at the corner for sitting across from the candy store, playing the banjo and singing a song with obscene lyrics. 3:18 p.m. – A caller reported the pair was back, singing another obscene song.
  • 12:11 p.m. – A caller reported a young woman in a yellow robe with long dreads appeared to be ordered by an older man with a cowboy hat to sit down.
  • 1:47 p.m. – A caller from a fruit stand called to report a possibly intoxicated woman in a wheelchair was demanding she be fed lunch.
  • 7:58 p.m. — A man reported someone shooting a potato cannon at his residence, with pieces of potato hitting the house.
  • 6:46 p.m. — A caller reported a woman asleep in a wheelchair in the middle of the road.
  • 10:01 a.m. — A caller reported an older man walking a 6-year-old child on a leash.
  • 7:39 p.m. — A caller reported a man with a bongo drum chasing people.
  • 3:25 p.m. — A caller reported a man screaming “I’m scared, get here now.” A man was arrested on suspicion of driving on a suspended license.
  • 1:12 p.m. — A woman reported being attacked by her cat.
  • 2:10 p.m. — A caller reported a 10-year-old girl was pouring soda on her grandmother, screaming and out of control. She had threatened to run naked out of the apartment.
  • 7:25 p.m. — A caller reported a man singing in the dumpster.
  • 10:33 p.m. — A caller reported a man with a mullet messing with the front door.
  • 10:35 p.m. — A man reported his wife hit him in the face with a tablet of paper and threw around his vitamins.
  • 9:51 p.m. — A man reported his neighbor’s cows are on his property, and he has a restraining order against them. {I didn’t know you could get a restraining order against cows!} The neighbors said they did not own the cow or calf.
  • 1:37 p.m. — A caller reported the theft of numerous vegetables from a garden, including two 20-pound zucchinis.
  • 5:09 p.m. — A caller reported that a woman had sent an e-mail saying that she had been hit by her son and was going to die. She was OK.
  • 3:40 p.m. — A caller reported a woman in a sombrero sitting on the side of the road.
  • 10:50 a.m. — A man reported being threatened because an item had been mispriced by 10 cents
  • 8:59 a.m. — A man reported his grandfather sent Jamaican telemarketers $100, and they continue to call and ask for money.
  • 10:26 p.m. — A caller reported loud music and obnoxious people. At 10:45 p.m., the caller reported people were “off the hook.”
  • 12:50 a.m. — A woman reported being awakened by a man standing in front of her bedroom window and saying, “Hey, hey, hey.” He was gone when officers arrived.
  • 10:22 a.m. — A caller reported a person in slippers sitting at the ATM, drinking alcohol.
  • 10:25 a.m. — A caller reported a man in a tie-dyed T-shirt and leather vest screaming. He was advised to move on.
  • 10:08 p.m. — A man reported a man came out of the bushes and threw a rock at him when he stopped because he thought he had hit something. The man then was ranting about the end of the world and chased the caller’s vehicle.
  • 10:01 a.m. — A woman reported she was “leaking.” No response was needed, the woman was getting more medication.
  • 5:01 a.m. — A caller reported a transient in a shed, refusing to leave. He was advised to move on.
  • 5:45 p.m. — A caller reported a shirtless man speaking to himself and making obscene gestures. He was reminded of proper social manners.
  • 8:46 p.m. — A woman reported a neighbor let their wolf out.
  • 11:28 a.m. — A caller reported the dumping of two large boxes and a bucket of oysters and clothes.
  • 10:58 a.m. — A caller reported a parent came in the store and then left three children unattended, aged 8, 7 and 1. The parent was contacted and picked up the children.
  • 10 a.m. — A woman reported the theft of $40 from her secret hiding spot.
  • 3:15 p.m. — A woman reported her son was tearing up her residence and calling her names. He said she was a hoarder and he was trying to clean up the residence. Code Enforcement was to handle the situation.
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