Police Blotters March 2011

March was a solid month for the police blotter. There were so many bizarre calls that I had to edit my list of favorites down to include only the most off-the-wall calls. My personal favorite this month is the call about the people who looked “pasty” and “satanic” and were “from the east coast” (because they were pasty and satanic looking?).

It’s easier for me to stomach the calls made by people who are clearly mentally ill or off their meds than the calls from people who are most likely racist but they insist that they are just concerned about “Homeland Security”. Regardless of a caller’s motivations, you just can’t make this stuff up.

  • 4:38 p.m. — A caller reported finding a suicide note under an overpass. A officer found it was a Bible verse.
  • 12:03 a.m. — A caller reported a man had “lost it” and was “out of his mind.” The man had been acting strangely all day, “he put on a skirt and was running around with knives.” Nearly two hours later, the caller reported the man was “in the kitchen, cutting up cards.”
  • 9:21 a.m. — A caller reported a “gang” of 10 to 12 men with Mohawks.
  • 6:05 p.m. — A caller reported a woman screaming “I’m dead.”
  • 5:57 p.m. — A man reported his wife threw a lemon at him and hit his leg, because he was home late from a car show.
  • 6:49 a.m. — A caller reported two men dressed in dark clothing with their faces painted black. They were taking part in a men’s retreat.
  • 10:07 a.m. — A man was yelling at inanimate objects.
  • 10:34 a.m. — A person was dancing in the street.
  • 7:05 p.m. — A caller reported a man barking and talking to himself.
  • 4:25 p.m. — A caller reported people setting up a tent and trying to camouflage it. It was found to possibly be a juvenile fort.
  • 10:14 a.m. — A caller reported headstones had been used to make a retaining wall.
  • 7:26 a.m. — A caller reported an incoherent man. At 8:25 a.m., a caller reported the man had urinated on a bathroom door and was stomping around. At 2:52 p.m., a caller reported the man was trying to get into a business. At 7:07 p.m., the man was reported saying there had been a murder in the building.
  • 4:11 p.m. — A man reported counting 37 cars that were driving without using windshield wipers during a heavy rain.
  • 2:06 p.m. – A caller reported his neighbor is screaming “47 zillion babies in 47 zillion years” out of her window. She is thought to be mentally unstable and off of her medication.
  • 11:22 p.m. – A caller reported her son was being pulled to the edge of a parking lot by people with faces that looked sick and pasty, like ghouls. They were also satanic looking, she added. The people look like they are from the east coast and work in the entertainment industry, and have a hiding place behind the bathrooms at a local pharmacy.
  • 12:15 p.m. – A caller reported movie stars were impersonating local citizens.
  • 6:05 p.m. — A woman who had been drinking said she needed medical help because she was “unable to stop peeing.” After speaking to the woman’s mother, who said it was not a medical emergency, Calfire crews decided not to respond. It was possible the woman’s chronic medical condition was causing the problem.
  • 3:42 p.m. — A caller reported a man throwing boulders in the road and doing jumping jacks. A mental health representative came to retrieve him.
  • 6:09 p.m. — A caller from a local park reported a large bag of marijuana on a garbage can. It was found to be tree trimmings and not marijuana.
  • 7:11 a.m. — A man reported waking up to find a person in his residence, sitting in a chair in the living room, smoking a cigarette and talking on the phone. The person left when asked.
  • 2:21 p.m. — A man reported a suspicious African man acting really nervous. He said he reported the incident because of Homeland Security concerns; he was concerned for the country and especially this area. He rarely reports things, but felt he should.
  • 2:21 a.m. — A caller reported that a man who came in for a mental health evaluation had walked out in his underpants and was now throwing things.

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