Police Blotters – May 2009

  • 11:54 a.m. — A woman reported her green Honda was stolen Saturday by a man named Jimmy.
  • 3:24 a.m. — A man reported his roommate was going crazy with a machete and he needed his lip sewn up. Officers found the roommate in bed asleep when they arrived.
  • 10:21 p.m. — A caller from a business reported a naked man banging on the door. A man was arrested on suspicion of indecent exposure, battery, being under the influence of a controlled substance and battery on a peace officer.
  • 10:19 a.m. — A caller reported finding human teeth buried in the yard.
  • 11:55 a.m. — A caller reported a “cardboard cat” was in the middle of the road last night and the caller removed it.
  • 8:48 p.m. —A man reported his son “took exception” to being asked to clean his room and hit him in the jaw.
  • 5:20 p.m. — A man reported his neighbor came into his house uninvited while he was sleeping. The neighbor allegedly came in his room with a bottle of wine and asked him to open the wine. The man’s dog bit the neighbor “on the butt.”
  • 5:56 p.m. — A man reported receiving third-hand information that a man was being held against his will and “only being fed KFC.”
  • 2:04 p.m. – A caller reported someone driving a red Hyundai taking loose baby wild turkeys.
  • 8:30 a.m. — A caller reported a blue and white cooler sitting in a planter. The caller was concerned it might be a bomb. The cooler was found not to be a bomb.
  • 9:53 p.m. – An intoxicated female caller reported her roommate just got on a tractor and broke down the front door with it. The woman wanted the man arrested for ripping the porch off the house with the tractor and using it to break out double glass doors to her trailer. Officers told the woman the man owned the trailer and could do anything he wanted to it. {I can’t understand at all what’s happening in this entry at all, but there’s something so odd about tearing off a porch with a tractor that I had to include it.}
  • 2:00 p.m. — A caller from a business reported finding a note on a trash can that said “I want to kill someone today.”
  • 3:29 p.m. — A caller reported a dog had been stolen in October 2007.
  • 8:03 p.m. — A caller reported a man with a collapsible baton following a couple.
  • 10:10 p.m. — A caller reported his neighbor was playing his drums loudly.
  • 5:15 p.m. — A caller reported an 8- or 9-year-old boy was driving a blue Honda around the parking lot. The vehicle then left, possibly driven by the boy’s grandmother. {Or, possibly driven by an 8-9 year old boy. No need to be alarmed.}
  • 7:29 p.m. — A caller reported a man looking at his reflection in cars and screaming at himself.
  • 9:18 a.m. — A caller reported a dog bite to the rear.
  • 9:51 a.m. — A caller reported finding a full catheter bag on the caller’s property. The caller would take it to the hospital for disposal. {How does one lose a catheter bag? Actually, I’d rather not know.}
  • 12:48 a.m. — A caller from a business reported a woman with dreadlocks tried to use an ID that wasn’t hers. The caller kept the ID. {I love it when they include such defining characteristics as dreadlocks or a mullet. In this area of California, both are quite common.}
  • 6:30 p.m. — A caller wanted information as to the legality of Spanish Fly.

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