Letter From An Occupant

Science may not back me up on this yet, but my own 10 year experiment has shown that SF landlords tend to be a little insane. I still need to do some research to determine if being a landlord in San Francisco makes someone who was once sane go a little nuts, or if one needs to have a touch of crazy in order to become a landlord in the first place.

On of the few positives of moving was getting away from our SF landlord. We lived just below him which, initially, seemed like a plus. He’d be there first thing if there was a problem and I thought having a landlord on the premises might help keep the building quiet. This turned out to be wishful thinking.

Our landlord was the problem person in the building. He stomped when he walked, he slammed doors and when he talked, he shouted. We cringed overhearing him berate a customer service people on the phone so loudly we could hear his every word in our dining room. “You people at HP are SO stupid!,” he screamed. “God you’re stupid. Where are you, in India?”

His relationships were turbulent and, at times, violent. He seemed surprised when we mentioned that we’d been bothered by a physical fight he had at 2am and unnerved to hear him screaming”STOP HURTING ME” and “PUT DOWN THAT KNIFE!”. I’d never called 911 before but I called them on our landlord. (The dispatchers were unsurprised, “Oh that house? We were there earlier today.”)

Any communication from him seemed like further proof of his unstable condition. We contacted him about a problem once and he emailed us that he wasn’t sure he could get to it right away because of his “heath and personnel” problems. We puzzled over this statement, ultimately realizing he meant that he had health and personal problems.

We arrived home one day to find the following note on his door: UPS Knock LOUAD (and yes, we ran to get our cameras.)


That said, he’s now a memory, a kooky character in our stories about our first home together. And despite his many heath and personnel problems, he was good at the landlord essentials: every year, he gave us a check for interest on our security deposit and a few weeks after moving out, we received our full security deposit back.


One Response to “Letter From An Occupant”

  1. sarah Says:

    crazy bastard.

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