Police Blotters – November 2008

My birthday month brought a wealth of funny or simply odd police blotters.

  • 3:38 p.m. — A woman reported her neighbor was threatening to put dog feces in her driveway because he claims she leaves it behind from her dogs.
  • 10:43 p.m. — A woman requested a welfare check on her boyfriend whom she had last heard from at 6:30 a.m. She said he might be out four-wheeling, and she didn’t want to drive up from Sacramento unless he was home.
  • 5:40 p.m. — A man reported a backpack containing a large amount of drugs inside had been stolen. He called back at 5:55 p.m. to report his neighbors found it under his kitchen sink.
  • 10:14 p.m. — A woman reported the tenants directly above her were making so much of a disturbance her birdcage had fallen to the floor.
  • 12:37 a.m. — A woman reported someone was outside her window hooting like an owl. Police confirmed it was an owl and not a person.
  • 6:28 p.m. — A man two men in a white Toyota pickup with a camper shell yelled racial statements while he was riding his bicycle; one threw a Mountain Dew at him.
  • 6:19 a.m. — A caller reported a suspicious brick outside the front door. Officers found it was a bag of clay.
  • 10:37 a.m. — A caller reported being punched in the face by a woman outside of a business. Officers located the suspect in her car in a downtown parking lot with a knife strapped to her leg. She was arrested on suspicion of battery and possession of marijuana.
  • 12:27 p.m. — A caller reported being assaulted with a plastic bag full of doorknobs.
  • 10:12 a.m. — A caller from a business reported a man was stripping and bathing.
  • 10:54 a.m. — A caller reported a man was drinking in the business. He was going out to his car and pouring Jim Beam into a soda cup.
  • 6:50 p.m. — A caller reported a reckless driver unable to maintain lanes. The driver was found to be elderly and lost.
  • 3:15 a.m. — A caller reported a shadow outside the residence.
  • 9:22 p.m. — A caller reported an elderly man, possibly in his boxers, thumbing a ride. [“Possibly” in his boxers? If they weren’t boxers, what were they??]
  • 1:20 p.m. — A caller reported a man washing items in the creek. The man was gold-panning.
  • 5:08 p.m. — A caller reported a goose was stuck in a fishing line near the pond adjacent to the ballfield. The Wildlife Care Center was advised and later it reported the “goose was loose.”
  • 4:04 p.m. — A man reported a pig was chasing him on his property and would not let him get in his vehicle.
  • 9:50 a.m. — A woman reported she could smell meth cooking at the old Jewish cemetery. Police were unable to locate any suspicious smell.
  • 5:29 p.m. — A caller  reported “promiscuous shooting” in the area.
  • 5:40 p.m. — A woman reported a dead squirrel in her mailbox. She said she previously had found beer cans in the mailbox and has a restraining order against her neighbor.
  • 9:22 a.m. — A caller reported someone just went the wrong way on the roundabout.
  • 10:39 a.m. — A caller from the reported a painting called “Shaman in the Sky” was stolen from a cabin.
  • 7:59 p.m. — A woman reported someone defecated on her bed. She also has heard knocking from underneath her mobile home intermittently for the last few years and has found human feces in her yard.
  • 4:13 p.m. — A caller reported a goat was “screaming, jumping, drooling, laying down.”
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