Police Blotter – September 2008

  • 2:20 a.m. – A caller reported a theft of a portable toilet. The caller said it was taken by a neighbor who is an ex-Hells Angels member. The portable toilet was gray and white with a chair and a bucket attached. The caller said he wasn’t sure if the portable toilet was stolen or just missing.
  • 10:35 a.m. – A man reported losing his partial dental plate downtown that had one plastic tooth in it.
  • 10:32 a.m. -A caller reported a business partner had hit him over the head and stole a gold nugget two days prior.
  • 3:58 p.m. – A caller reported that an individual who works at a property next door was yelling at her because of the flies that were coming off her horse.
  • 2:26 a.m. – A caller reported a loud party with three or four women urinating on a driveway.
  • 8:37 a.m. – A caller reported a can of baked beans had been dumped on her car.
  • 9:20 a.m. – A caller reported finding a dead woodpecker in his bathtub. He told officers he believed the bird was put there intentionally. Later, the caller reported that he found a hole in the wall that allowed the bird access to the bathtub.
  • 11:07 p.m. – A caller reported the someone had urinated on his Jeep while he was at the Draft Horse Classic.  [Editor’s Note: the Draft Horse Classic is a rather embarrassing lumberjack/cowboy get-together and frankly a place where I think one can reasonably expect that someone will urinate on their jeep.]
  • 11:05 a.m. – A man reported a tenant was keeping a rattlesnake in a terrarium and violating the rental contract that prohibits pets. The man said he has started the eviction process but is concerned the tenant would release the snake in the property.
  • 11:52 a.m. – A woman said a suspicious man came up to her and started stroking her hair.
  • 5:59 p.m. – A woman reported a juvenile skateboarding on her roof. A similar call came in from another home. Responding officers found the skateboarder and arrested him.
  • 9:18 a.m. – A caller came to the lobby at the Police Department and requested officer contact after she alleged her children, who were at the movies, were jumped by Lindsay Lohan and Andre the Giant. The reporting person alleged Lohan was running a prostitution ring in Hollywood.
  • 3:09 p.m. – A caller reported that she was assaulted by a female. The caller was a process server who said she had an unknown object thrown at her face, and she denied the need for medical attention. The caller later reported the item was a muffin.

One Response to “Police Blotter – September 2008”

  1. Debbie Says:

    The last two entries of the police blotter was e-mailed to me by Talia, Sarah’s friend. She died laughing. I e-mailed back and asked her, and I’ll ask you now, if she/you saw the one a couple of weeks ago that was about a lady calling the Sheriff’s to report one thing, and then she had to hang up because her rug was on fire. (It had nothing to do with the thing she was reporting). That’s my current favorite. I like your editor’s note about the Draft Horse Classic. Ha.

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